What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced
I asked my old science teacher this and he said “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”
i finally got to 15 followers on tumblr. i’m trying really hard to not let the fame get to my head but it’s difficult. today some lady at the supermarket asked me if i wanted paper or plastic bags and i just fucking lost it i am too famous for her questions. i can’t believe i haven’t been asked to do a magazine cover yet. i feel like it is coming soon.
everyones getting in relationships and I can’t even find my other sock
imagine how much power you’d have if you woke up with a clear face and perfect hair every day
when the teacher says pair up but no one likes u